1. Sobbing Keeper (哭泣的饲养员)

   A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and on inquiry was told that the elephant had died. “I t’s not that ,” came the reply .“He’s the chap who has to the grave.”

                            2.What Would You Do?（你会怎么办？）

   Son: Mom, if someone broke your best vase what would you do ?

   Mum: I’d spank him and send him to bed without any supper !

   Son: Well, you’d better get the slipper. Dad’s just broken it!

                            3.A Baby Sister(小妹妹)

   Nurse: Don’t you like your new baby sister ,Johnny?

   Johnny: she’s all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got anew sister, and now he’ll think I’m trying to copy him .

                            4.I Didn’t Notice It(我没看到它)

   Mother：I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?

   Johnny：Well，I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.

                            5.A Birthday Present(生日礼物)

   Annie: Mum , do you know what I’m going to give you for your birthday ?

   Mum：No，dear, what is it?

   Annie: A nice teapot .

   Mum: But I’ve got a nice teapot .

   Annie: No, you haven’t . I’ve just dropped it!

                            6.Who  Discovered  Australia?(谁发现了澳大利亚？)

   Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me ,Johnny.

   Johnny: it’s there, sir .

   Teacher: That’s right .Now Sammy , who discovered Australia ?

   Sammy: Johnny, sir.

                            7.When do people talk least?(人们什么时候说话最少？)

   Student A：When do people talk least?

   Student B: In February .

   Student A: Why ?

   Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year .

                            8.Open your mouth

   Doctor：Please open your mouth ,Madam .

   Lady: Thank you very much ,doctor .

   Doctor: Why doyou thank me ?

   Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up .

                            9.Great scientists

   Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18^th century?

   Pupil: Yes, sir, I CAN .They are all dead .

                            10.Wash your face

   Teacher: David, why don’t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this

morning .

   David: What is it?

Teacher: Eggs .

David: Wrong, teacher .That was yesterday.

                          11. Carrot

Patient: You say carrot is good for eyesight. .Is that true ? 

Doctor: Certainly .Have you ever seen rabbits wearing glasses ?

                          12. Is the milk fresh?

Customer: I wonder if this milk is fresh  .

Waiter: Fresh ? Three hours ago it was GRASS!

                          13. Doll

Bobby: Billy broke my new doll!

Mum: How did he do that ?

Bobby: I hit him over the head with it .

                          14.Train and car

Teacher: Why does a train run faster than a car ?

Pupil: Because it has more wheels than a car .

                          15. Shave

Harry: My big brother shaves every day .

Herry :My brother shaves fifty times a day .

Harry: Is he crazy ?

Herry: No, he’s a barber .