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ted in general as having the meanings mentioned, at last to Chinese and Americans. There are parts of the way in which we communicate. This “body language”, like our verbal language, is also a part of our culture.
In English-speaking countries, physical contact is generally avoided in conversation among ordinary friends or acquaintances. Merely touching someone may cause an unpleasant reaction. If one touches another person accidentally, he/she usually utters an apology such as “Sorry, Oh, I’m sorry, Excuse me.” In China, a common complaint of western mothers is that Chinese often fondle their babies and very small children. Such behavior—whether touching, patting, hugging or kissing—can be quite embarrassing and awkward for the mothers. They know that no harm is meant, and that such gestures are merely signs of friendliness or affection, therefore they cannot openly show their displeasure. On the other hand, such actions in their own culture would be considered rude, intrusive and offensive and could arouse a strong dislike and even repugnance. So the mothers often stand by and watch in awkward silence, with mixed emotions, even when the fondling is by Chinese friends or acquaintances. Going beyond the milder forms of touching, we shall take up the matter of hugging and embracing in public. This practice is fairly common among women in many countries. And in most of the more industrialized countries, it occurs frequently between husband and wife and close members of the family when meeting after a period of absence. Hugging and embracing among men, however, is a different matter. Among Arabs, Russians, French, and in several of the east European and Mediterranean countries, a warm hug and a kiss on the cheeks are a standard way of welcome. The same is true with some Latin Americans. In East Asia and in the English-speaking countries, though, the practice is seldom seen. A simple handshake is the custom. The story is told of what happened not long ago when the Japanese prime minister at the time, Mr. Fukuda, went to the U.S. on a state visit. When he stepped out of his car in front of the white house, he was greeted by the American president whit a “bear hug”. The prime minister was flabbergasted; others of the Japanese delegation were amazed; many Americans were surprised—it was so unusual and so unexpected. If the president had bowed low in Japanese fashion, it would have been less a surprise than to be greeted in a way so uncommon in either country! The matter of physical contact between members of the same sex in English-speaking countries is a delicate one. Once past childhood, the holding of hands, or walking with an arm around another’s shoulder is not considered proper. The implication is homosexuality, and homosexuality generally arouses strong social disapproval in these countries. 3.1.3 Eye contact
Eye contact is an important aspect of body language. One could draw up quite a list of “rules” about eye contact: to look or not to look; when to look and how long to look; who and who not to look at. These passages from the book Body Language (Fast, 1971) are amusing as well as informative: “Tow strangers seated across from each other in a railway dining car have the option of introducing themselves and facing a meal of inconsequential and perhaps boring talk, or ignoring each other and desperately trying to avoid each other’s glance. A writer, describing such a situation in an essay, wrote, ‘they re-read the menu, they fool with the cutlery, they inspect their own fingernails as if seeing them for the first time. Comes the inevitable moment when glances meet, but they meet only to shoot instantly away and out the window for an intent view of the passing scene.’ ”
He points out that with people who are unfamiliar: “We must void staring at them, and yet we must also avoid ignoring them… We look at them long enough to make it quite clear that we see them, and then we immediately look away. There are different formulas for the exchange of glances depending on where the meeting takes place. If you pass someone in the street you may eye the oncoming person till you are about eight feet apart, then you must look away as you pass. Before the eight-foot distance is reached, each will signal in which direction he will pass. This is done with a brief look in that direction. Each will veer slightly, and the passing is done smoothly.” In conversations with people who know each other, however, American custom demands that there should be eye contact. This applies to both the speaker and the listener. For either one not to look at the other person could imply a number of things, among which are fear, contempt, uneasiness, guilt, indifference, even in public speaking there should be plenty of eye contact. For a speaker to “burry his nose in his manuscript”, to read a speech instead of looking at and talking to 上一页 [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] 下一页
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