When Dorothy receives a wedding invitation to attend her Japanese neighbor’s wedding, she is thrilled. She has always admired the Yamashita family. She is very fond of lance, the about-to-be-married son, and feels extremely close to Grace, his mother. Dorothy feels honored to be included in the family festivities.

After the beautiful church ceremony, Dorothy stands in line to greet the bridal party. However, when Dorothy, a very affectionate person, steps forward to embrace the mother of the groom, Grace steps backward.
Dorothy feels rejected.
Even at such a joyous occasion as a wedding, Japanese customs about physical contact in public are not relaxed, even when taking place between the same sex. Truly, more formality is demonstrated in such situations. Consider the extreme reserve displayed at the 1993 royal wedding of crown prince Naruhito to Massako Owada. The physical acts of the royal couple consisted only of sipping sacred sake and making bows—no touching, no hugging, no kissing between the couple, certainly none by the wedding guests.
In Dorothy’s situation, even though she felt very close to Grace, she would have been more socially correct had she bowed her head slightly and then offered only verbal felicitations. In situations like these, it is best to observe the manner in which other wedding guests congratulate family members and then follow their example.
3.3 A comparative study of Chinese and American body language

A comparative study of Chinese and American body language shows a number of similarities; for example: men don’t hug or embrace when meeting; a handshake is the most common gesture that goes with a greeting; waving a hand to say “goodbye” is the same; a frown shows displeasure, and the wrinkling of one’s nose is a sign of dislike, disgust or disapproval; nodding means “yes”, and shaking one’s head means “no”; pouting has the same meaning—displeasure, bad humor, resentment; a pat on the back of a man or boy indicates approval, praise, encouragement; gritting one’s teeth may express anger, fury, or determination.
The charts on the following pages provide examples of some of the difference:

Different Body Language, Same Meaning
Meaning Body Language in China Body Language in U.S.
“Come here” (beckoning someone to come) hand extended toward person,open palm, palm down, withall fingers crooked in a beckoning motion hand extended toward person,closed hand, palm up, with forefinger only moving backand forth (in china this samegesture would be consideredoffensive by many)
“Shame on you!” (semi-joking gesture) forefinger of one hand extended, tip touches one’s own face several times quickly; similar to scratching,but with the forefinger straight (usually with the remark “shame on you!”) forefinger of each hand extended, palms down in front of one’s body; one forefinger makes several brushing movements over the back of the other forefinger
‘I’m very full” (after a meal) one or both hands open, lightly patting one’s own stomach hand raised to throat, fingersextended, palm down (oftenwith the remark “I’m full upto here.”)

Same Body Langua

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